Sunday, March 13, 2011

Even during bad times, it's all about Michelle.


First, this shit right here (all images can be clicked to enlarge):

Michelle never, ever takes time to mention that lighting, angles, the the type of camera being used can contribute to how a person looks. I think her laying method is a load of shit. I have a few cousins that have tried it with different products. They all ended up getting clogged pores from all of the stuff used, most of it never made a difference despite a 4 month trial, and their skin ended up looking exhausted from having so much stuff piled on before bed. This might work for some people, but I doubt those people are all using such expensive serums, moisturizers, creams, etc. From what I have read and been told, the earliest a person should start using serums is their mid-twenties (correct me if I am wrong). And I believe that using wrinkle cream in your teens and early twenties is a solid waste of cash. Why are you fighting something that hasn't even begun to show up yet? "You want to prevent now." Then wear sun screen, drink water, and all the other shit you're told by gurus every single day.

I also believe she's been wearing some kind of foundation or tinted moisturizer in her recent videos, claiming to be bare skinned. Well, I believe that to be true for a lot of her videos. Because if her skin looks rough, at all, she's called out on it. And then when the next video rolls around, *gasp*, her skin look far more even and poreless. Sorry, but your skin can't read comments on Youtube and magically repair itself so quickly every damn time.

And shit, Michelle, would it kill you to buy some Chapstick? Or do you need to go buy a super expensive balm? That $20,000+ a month sure burns a hole in her pocket.

And how about her new bangs...

I thought those bangs were fake at first. I have no doubt she dyed her hair black to hide damage. She needs to go to a good hair dresser to get her split ends trimmed and advice on how to keep her hair healthy. Most of the time her hair looks like a Halloween wig because it appears so dry. BUY CONDITIONER. IT IS YOUR FRIEND. And bangs "make you look younger"? Since when? Michelle is all about looking young. She is going to shit herself the day she turns 30. Or 25.

Now onto something that gave my blog a fuck ton of traffic from the Michelle Phail Tumblr and made several people shit so many bricks they could have made a fort and bombed my ass:
Turns out the person that made the Michelle Phan fan page that got a lot of (negative) attention was a 13 year old female fan of Michelle's. She's handled all of the insults and threats very well, I must say. She has my respect. She hasn't taken down the page despite the bitching, and there is no reason for her to. Some of Michelle's intelligent fans began pointing out how fucking insane it got.

My argument still stands: Michelle enjoys that poor girl being bashed. Otherwise she'd take the time to make note of how fucking horrible it is for her fans to make paragraphs of "You must be really ugly show yourself", "poor shallow bitch you have no life", "go die" comments. Her fans told a 13 year old girl to go die. No surprise. They told a 16 year old on Twitter that harmlessly stated her opinion to go kill herself. I can't really be surprised by their fuckery anymore. And Michelle didn't give two flying fucks about the Twitter thing, either. She made a very half assed apology that came off as, "I did nothing wrong, you all took it too far, that girl is stupid, the end." Michelle just doesn't give a fuck.


It really irks me how Michelle brings up prayer, family, and friends when shit goes wrong, or when feels she needs sympathy to hide a previous fuck up only to create a bigger clusterfuck. I have nothing against prayer. I have something against people that seem to hide behind it.

But what's more irritating is how she had to state how she had a shit day. And not even just say, "I had a bad day but..." or this "This makes me think twice about my problems..." No. She had to mention specifics. She should have known better than to have left expensive ass make-up and a goddamned laptop from her fucking car. First of all, where the fuck are you going that you need a valet? Second, how could you not know this shit happens? It isn't rare. At all. That is your own fuck up, ma'am. Why did she mention that? Does she have a Paypal account that she's hoping people will pour money into? Mother fucker, you make $20,000 a month. Don't be a stupid whiny bitch just because you have money.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she mentioned donating to the Red Cross, it's something legit. It's horrible how people make fraud donation sites at such critical times. But having that been said, I won't be surprised if Michelle makes some half-assed video for her charity channel for this soon. The only videos that I recall her making being linked to charity sites were the ones for St. Jude via Lancome, and one for malaria (I don't remember which site she linked to). Other videos, well, we've never been told how much money is made, what charities they go to, nor when. And when asked, she pretends not to notice, and never answers.

And the only reason I can see her making a video for this is to remind everyone that she is Asian. Whoopteefuckingdoo. Feel sympathy for the victims, not the specific races. And if you don't give a shit, don't pretend to. This isn't a fucking bandwagon, Michelle. 

And she better get her shit straight if she does make a video. If anyone saw the malaria video, you probably saw a comment from someone that actually had malaria, POLITELY correcting Michelle on her inaccurate facts. Michelle responded very fucking rudely, as normal. You asshole, you have never had malaria, and you probably don't know anyone that has had malaria. So don't get a big dick just because you Googled malaria, pulled up the first link, and read 3-4 sentences on it.

I only hope that if she does make a video the money does go to a reputable charity. Or better: Leave a link to a good site that takes direct donations.